Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Someone came in the potted fern
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
