She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
