i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
me + whiskey = a bad person
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
