i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
