the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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