also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
