He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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