Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
