I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
