Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
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just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
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The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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