He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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