dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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