so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
