id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
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That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
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Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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