His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
