Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
