Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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