Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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