ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I am available for nakedness
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
