Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
