i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
