who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
