forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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