she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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