i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
