This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
