Duck Duck Cougar?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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