i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
