sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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