I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
