I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
