We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
