and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
