i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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