I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We're too hungover to prance.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
