Having a random hookup so left but love u
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
