Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
