you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
