So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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