He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
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