I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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