We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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