dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
