best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
