Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize
