If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
