New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
