dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i think i have herpe
just one?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
