That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
