In the future we'll all be gay
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
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My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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