Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
