How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
