I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
