quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
