I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
