forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
